Bring it.

So, I didn't get The Awesomest Job in the Universe Ever in the History of Always. I was a finalist. God and I are on speaking terms, but it's his sorry luck that he didn't get his present.

It doesn't matter though, because I'm pretty sure I rawked the Jeopardy! Online Test last night.



I'm so sure (i.e., bored and unemployed) that I've given myself a head start on addressing a few issues.

Like: What do I wear? At what monetary amount should I feel obligated to give some of my winnings to family members? Is a Prius a sound investment? Are my Jeopardy! chit-chat stories going to be too inappropriate? How do I keep from swearing on national television? Can I say 'frig'? Does Alex Trebek still smell of residual moustache wax?

Also, I may need to make up an occupation for myself. I'm considering "World Adventurer" or "Edith Piaf".

Thankfully, I've already determined my Final Jeopardy decoy-answer should I a) really not know the answer or b) have so much cash that I can say 'Fuck it.' I can't share it with you now. But, trust me, it's going to be the funniest damn thing in the history of game shows. Har!

Then they'll realize why I need to be a member of that wretched Clue Crew.

Dear God.

I really would like this job.

Not just any job. THIS job. Because it rawks. Hardcore.

I know you can help me out here.

In return, I'll buy this and have it shipped to you.

Which, to me, seems fair.

I thank you, in advance, for your time and consideration toward this matter.

Luv,
Di

P.S. - No, seriously.

P.S.S. - Please.

Do the running man.

I'm excited.

Although, I also may be lining myself up for utter failure on all sides. Eh. Oh well.

Over the weekend, I saw Governor Baldacci and other Democratic Mainers. This is because I'm on the Aroostook County Commission. This is because I raised my hand when they asked who wanted to be on it. Now, I get to shake alot of hands, and quietly wonder if Gov. Baldacci would laugh if I told him that, in blog-world, I turned him into a ball of tin foil. I think so. He's sort of the Albert Markovski of the political realm.

I really have no idea what I'm doing there. I may switch over to the Frontier Heritage Society instead.

I also saw sled dogs. And the crazy Quebecois mushers that love them. I've determined that rooting for the Quebecois in most sports is a pretty fine idea.

This morning, I was set to apply as a cook at a local potato processing plant. I was dizzy with visions of grandeur. Yet, I soon received a call from the ACAP for a community outreach position. I have an interview on Thursday. If successful, I get to teach teenagers not to have babies. Effing sweet.

I'm also going to craft up some wedding invites this week. And maybe teach myself to make good bread. I don't actually know if idle hands are the devil's plaything, but I know that being bored will eventually leave one writing Food Network fan fiction.

Personal experience.

Watch this, please: