Bring it.

So, I didn't get The Awesomest Job in the Universe Ever in the History of Always. I was a finalist. God and I are on speaking terms, but it's his sorry luck that he didn't get his present.

It doesn't matter though, because I'm pretty sure I rawked the Jeopardy! Online Test last night.



I'm so sure (i.e., bored and unemployed) that I've given myself a head start on addressing a few issues.

Like: What do I wear? At what monetary amount should I feel obligated to give some of my winnings to family members? Is a Prius a sound investment? Are my Jeopardy! chit-chat stories going to be too inappropriate? How do I keep from swearing on national television? Can I say 'frig'? Does Alex Trebek still smell of residual moustache wax?

Also, I may need to make up an occupation for myself. I'm considering "World Adventurer" or "Edith Piaf".

Thankfully, I've already determined my Final Jeopardy decoy-answer should I a) really not know the answer or b) have so much cash that I can say 'Fuck it.' I can't share it with you now. But, trust me, it's going to be the funniest damn thing in the history of game shows. Har!

Then they'll realize why I need to be a member of that wretched Clue Crew.